BREAKING PRESSURE AND BREAKING BOUNDARIES: A REALITY CHECK FOR NIGERIA YOUTHS - By: LUCAS NWACHUKWU

When you saw your secondary school class mate after 10-15 years, and to your surprise, She/he has “Blown”, (Nigeria term for becoming successful financially), did you become concerned in a weird way?, did you ask yourself, if this is the future you envisaged?, did you feel a level of hubris coming from your soul that you have never seen before that you have done your best, perhaps, it is not “God’s time” ? Or the shame of feeling like I haven’t done enough with my life and time is running out, looking at your age. Did you become devastated because Invictus Obi made it to Forbes under 30 African Entrepreneurs? Or did you feel crushed when you see Mompha flaunts his Bentley, Rolls Royce, Porsche, Hublot and Rolex wrist watches and pile of cash on instagram?

According to recent research from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, the more time young adults spend on social media, the more likely they are to be pressured and depressed.

We love a little bit of Instagram, Facebook, and Whatsapp stalking, of admiring the glamorous and exciting lives of others through these platforms. But how does admiring the lives of people you have very little contact with in the real world make you feel? Does seeing the successes and achievements of others make you feel a little insignificant or is it having an impact on your mood? You don’t have to live your life through social media. Spending too much time believing everything you see on that small screen can be harmful. Don’t fall for the over-glamourizing of lives on social media. Be happy for those that post the great things that are going on in their lives. But keep in mind that you don’t always see the full picture.

The pressures placed on the youths to meet a certain standards often lead to inordinate amount of stress over the fact that you are yet to start, that big job, own that exotic car, build or own that mansion, get to that height in your chosen career or even start and launch that business or your own company.

In a society that tells the youth that they are failures if they did not finish with 2:1, if they are not successful as artists in their twenties, entrepreneurs, or startup CEOs by the time they are 25, it’s good to have a reality check. Contrary to popular belief, not all celebrities or known figures in the world found fame and fortune in their twenties or even their thirties.

Do you know that at the age of 40, Samuel L. Jackson hadn’t yet starred in a movie.
Henry Ford worked as an engineer under Thomas Edison, where he worked on ways to improve the then new automobile. It was not until he was 40 that he founded the Ford Motor company.
Vera Wang had barely gotten her start in fashion.
Morgan Freeman appeared in several small roles in film and TV in the ‘60s, but it wasn’t until 1989 that he gained mainstream attention and his career really took off.

These known figures also prove that with a lot of hard work, you can do anything you set your mind to.
The idea societal pressure is morally and political neutral in that such pressure can be used for any purpose, good or bad, and everyone uses the tool to varying degrees. It is my submission that rather than being pressured, focus on providing a positive alternative. How do you achieve this? I instruct you do the following:

Develop a Strong Sense of Self- Introspection is key here. Take stock of your asset, what do you enjoy most? What are you best at? your current job or whatever you are doing may hold clues. Pay attention and leverage on them. To develop and strengthen a realistic sense of self, Connect with yourself. See challenges as a way to know yourself. Apply these actions to your life daily.

Be Practical – Keep it in your mind that you can always fail, but remember that even if you fail, you will have learned a lot, even more than you probably would not have learned, if you would have succeeded, perhaps, that is why John Maxwell titled his book : Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You (Lose) Learn.

Don’t try to fit in- Be strong about the benefits of being different, make it clear that your choice comes from your values and be prepared to speak and defend them.

Work your dreams out – You are the only one that is responsible for what you can and cannot do. So, how do you pursue your dreams? If you work on it each day, eventually you will achieve your dream. Execution breeds excellence. Practice is the growth to perfection. The more you do, the better you become. Everything takes practice including pursuing your dreams. If you want to achieve your dreams, start now, learn in the process from the experiences and adjust. The important thing to know is that your failures are there to teach you lessons that can help you pick yourself up and keep moving forward.

The big question is, do you want to push against and beyond boundaries and go to those places they once said you cannot go, or are you going to allow the pressure hold you back? I don’t think so, rather, you must reclaim yourself and launch into the ever accommodating space that is out there for everyone, but this can only happen when you decide to take the first step which is ACTION to become who you truly want to be.